What to Do When Your SME Ghosts You: 5 Strategies to Re-Engage

The number one question you ask me is what to do when an SME starts to ghost you. I get it. It’s tricky. You can’t force them to work with you on a project, but they are essential to getting the job done. I would love to say in a perfect world, everything works out and that you do establish an amazing partnership with your SME. For the most part, the learning experiences I’ve designed are like this, and I have great working relationships with my SMEs. However, we live in the real world, and sometimes, it’s a bit of a challenge to work with an SME, especially one who feels like they are proactively ignoring you. So, what do you do?

Here are my best tips for bringing your SME back to your project:

Reach Out in a Different Way

I’m going to make some assumptions here, and I largely base these on my experiences when speaking with other designers and, of course, my own habits. I’ll assume that you have been communicating with your SME via email the most. That’s the way you were introduced to them, and that’s how you’ve always chatted, besides maybe an in-person meeting or a Zoom call. Email is the easiest way to ignore someone. Think of how many times someone has emailed you, and you brushed it off or said, “I’ll respond to this person later,” and then later never comes.

The first easy tip is to change how you communicate with your SME. It is shocking how well this has worked for me over the years. My SMEs’ phone numbers are usually in their signature, so I pick up the phone and call them. I’ve had a few be surprised that I was reaching out directly, but it caught their attention. The same can be said with texting them or using WhatsApp. Whatever information they share with you via email is another way of getting a hold of them. There is a feeling, too, that a phone call is more urgent, so it triggers a response. Change up your method as a quick layup to try to get their attention.

Make It Easier for Them to Respond Back

In this same manner, try to make it easier for your SME to respond to you. If you send these well-crafted and elaborate emails, it can be too much writing. I used to send out emails that would start with a greeting, wishing them well, providing some backstory for why I’m reaching out, and then follow through with the ask. It was way too much! For some SMEs, being direct and to the point will give you a faster answer. For instance, here would be an example of sending a quick text to an SME about booking a time for their filming session:

Hi Jordan,
Thursday at 1 PM is free for the studio. Does that time work for you?

And that’s it! Short, sweet, and to the point. This works extremely well with texting, and now, some SMEs only text me because that’s their preferred communication method, which is fine.

Along the same lines, you can always write your emails differently to highlight your points. I have one friend who makes the ask in bold font, and she swears by it. She claims it brings attention right to the ask, and that’s how she gets faster responses since the SMEs don’t need to sift through all the fluff. This could be an option for you as well. The point is to make it easier for them to get back to you.

Be Persistent

If you need your SME to respond, how many times do you reach out to them per week? If the answer is one, then you need to contact them more. If I think about how much my SMEs have on their plate, especially at MIT, I am last on the priority list. Even though it feels gross and slimy to blast someone’s email, I will do it. For some SMEs, they’ll hear from me two to three times a week until I get a response. I can always apologize later for blowing up their phone or inbox. I usually get some kind of response like, “Hey Luke. Now’s not a good time, but try again on Friday at noon.” And there we go, that’s the time I shoot for. If you need to be relentless and persistent to get the job done, then that’s what you need to do.

Use Your Network

If you don’t have as much power and influence at the organization, find someone who does and use that to your advantage. I talk with my boss all the time about sending out an email, and then we decide who the email should come from because it carries more weight coming from her. If we are talking about a serious ask or topic, I’ll craft the email and send it to her, asking, "Would you mind sending this out on my behalf?" The change of another person’s name, especially one who is higher up, is likely to get more of a response. Sometimes, it doesn’t even need to be someone with power, but just someone different is enough to stir up a change. I’ve seen this happen many times where I’m out of the office, and I’ll ask a colleague to follow up with a person, and sure enough, they get an immediate response. So, give it a try!

Use Their Network

This is probably the best piece of advice I can give you. If you are working with an SME and you know their colleagues, or if you are working with multiple SMEs on one project, use that to your advantage. You can put pressure on the ghosting SME to respond because their colleague is now asking them to respond to you. This works extremely well because now they feel pressure for letting down their colleague by not doing their work on time. The truth is that the SMEs may happen to see each other more. I’m not in the same building on campus as many of my SMEs, so if I ask one SME to go to another SME’s office to pass along my message or say hello next time they see them in the hallway, this works really well. If you are working with senior-level folks, I’d highly recommend this strategy.

Well friends, those are my five tips. If you have a tip that works well, feel free to share it below.

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